


Caught In The Storm

by eyesofjihoon (taesquared)



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based On The Song "Caught In The Storm" from Smash, Bookstore Worker!Jihoon, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Rating Might Change To Mature Later - I'm Not Sure, Sexual Content, Stepbrother!Jaehwan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2020-05-30 18:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19409191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taesquared/pseuds/eyesofjihoon
Summary: Seongwoo is like a beautiful storm that Jihoon just can't get away from—even if he should.





	1. hearing thunder (and i wonder)

**Author's Note:**

> \- Cross-posted on AFF: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1408144/

“Excuse me, do you have any books on photography?”

It’s almost closing time, so Jihoon nods with forced enthusiasm—which Woojin and Jaehwan find the funniest thing for some reason—and sets his bubble tea down before guiding the customer towards the back into one of the more secluded sections.

“It’s not a very large section, but we do have a few selections. Let me know if you have any questions.”

The customer skims the two and a half shelves, _ahh_ -ing with interest. She turns to Jihoon with a grateful smile and gives her thanks.

Jihoon bows before heading back to his lukewarm drink and annoying companions.

“I’m still not used to seeing you act all professional. It’s a far cry from what _I’m_ used to.”

Jihoon gives an unamused stare to his stepbrother sitting on the stool across the counter.

“I think I deserve some of that respect around here. What do you think, Woojin?”

Jihoon scowls, “I will evict you from this store.”

“For _what?_ Do you see this? Disrespect.”

“You, are harassing the manager.”

“You _wish_ you were the manager.”

“He really doesn’t,” Woojin pipes up.

“Shut up.”

Their titters dissolve into a comfortable silence as Jihoon skims through his phone.

_I wonder how his date is going._

“So Jihoon,” Jaehwan starts, with that insufferable grin on his face. “Meet any hot guys while I was away?”

Jihoon flushes, looking over his shoulder if any customers were in their vicinity—thankfully, none.

“Will you keep it down,” he hisses.

“So no,” Jaehwan concludes, and then coos, placing both hands over his chest. “Oh, my poor baby brother. So young. So innocent.”

Woojin chokes on his drink and Jihoon throws him a piercing glare.

Jaehwan piques with interest. “Something to share with the class?”

“Innocent? _Him?”_ Woojin guffaws. He points an accusatory finger at Jihoon. “Need I remind you of when he made out with Hyungseob back in high school? That was _wild._ ”

Jaehwan stills, and then shudders.

“What?” Jihoon snaps.

“I had forgotten. And now it’s all coming back to me.” Jaehwan fakes a sob. “Woojin, _why?_ ”

Woojin cackles and Jihoon threateningly brandishes a ruler at the two hyenas sitting in front of him.

Their laughter fades again as Woojin smoothly diverts the conversation to something regarding Eunbin’s pole-dancing endeavors. Jihoon feels a buzz in his pocket and quickly takes it out.

****

**_Seongwoo-hyung:_** __  
_the date sucked DICK_  
_remind me never to trust sungwoon-hyung again_  
  


Jihoon snorts as he types back a reply.

  
_that bad huh_  
_what was he like_

“Who is it?” Jaehwan asks, nosy as ever.

**_Seongwoo-hyung:_**  
_the fucker couldn’t take a joke to save his life_  
_i’m hilarious and he doesn’t even smile once???_  
_fucking asshole_

Jihoon smirks. Jaehwan leans over the counter but doesn’t catch the name in time before Jihoon pulls away and slips the phone back into his pocket.

“Buzz off,” he scowls, ignoring the suspicious glint in Jaehwan’s eyes. He can still feel the phone vibrating excitedly against his thigh.

“Hi,” the woman from earlier shyly comes up to the register.

Jihoon smoothly slips into his customer service role.

“Hello,” he greets, and scans the two books the woman has placed on the counter. He rattles off the price and she pays the exact amount— _God bless her_. He carefully places the books in a bag and throws in the receipt. It’s an efficient process, and she looks like she’s so ready to go home after a late night and a long week. Outside, thunder rumbles in the distance and the _whoosh_ of cars amplifies the heavy rain falling over Masan.

“Safe travels,” he says, and she flashes a kind smile as she pulls out her umbrella. 

“Thank you. Good night.” She nods to Jaehwan and Woojin as well. “Good night.”

The woman leaves and Jihoon hops out of his seat to flip the sign from OPEN to CLOSED. There are still five minutes on the clock but he figures: 1) it’s Friday, and 2) it’s raining.

“Oh, excuse me,” the woman mutters as someone rushes past her and tumbles into the store. The figure gasps, his shoes splashing rainwater all across the floor. He looks up and his black hair is slightly damp and plastered against his forehead. Jihoon gapes.

"Seongwoo-hyung."

Seongwoo's eyes light up, first with delight when he sees Jihoon, and then with surprise when his gaze flickers to the other inhabitants of the store.

"Is that _the_ Kim Jaehwan I see?"

Jaehwan isn't prepared for the amicable hug from the rather wet visitor and let out something akin to a screech when Seongwoo wraps his arms around him.

"Yo, dude, it's been a while! How was Canada? Are you bored of it already?"

Jaehwan grunts when Seongwoo finally releases him.

"Hello, _sunbae."_

"Hi, Woojin," Seongwoo happily greets and gives the younger a one-armed hug. 

"Hi, hyung."

"Gosh, it's been so long," Seongwoo laments animatedly to Jaehwan. "How have you been?"

Jaehwan flashes a look to Jihoon that says, _What is he doing here?_

"Uh, I've been good," he stiffly remarks. "What brings you here at this hour?"

“I came here to see Jihoonie!” Seongwoo replies, unaware of the growing tension in the room. “We were going to hang out after his shift.”

Jaehwan furrows his brow, as does Jihoon. Seongwoo didn’t mention _anything_ about having plans after work.

He catches the urgent glint in Seongwoo's eyes and realizes— _oh._

“I see. Are you guys going out to dinner?”

“Uh,” Seongwoo falters. “Something like that, sure.”

Jihoon suddenly wants to throw Daniel’s mini-cactus at Seongwoo’s face.

"I'm gonna—” He nervously slinks out of his seat and makes an ambiguous gesture towards the back. "Fix some of the shelves for tomorrow—ah, I mean Monday. Yeah. Monday."

Jaehwan throws him another look— _what the hell are you doing_ —and Seongwoo merely nods, finding interest in the closest shelf with his back turned towards the register.

"Uh, Woojin, can you—" Jihoon bites his tongue as soon as the words leave his mouth. _I deserve to drown in fire._

"Yep." Woojin springs out of his seat and obediently follows him to the back without question. They huddle into the the very back corner where the encyclopedias remain untouched while an ungodly amount of dust has already accumulated along the spines.

Jihoon sighs, leaning against the shelf along the wall.

"God, why is he _here?"_

Woojin looks up and down the towering shelves of books.

Jihoon huffs. "He just _had_ to come today when Jaehwan-hyung is here, _fuck."_

Woojin throws him an unimpressed look. "What are you worried about? Do you really think Seongwoo-hyung is going to tell him you two have been banging for the past two months? Give him some credit."

“You saw Jaehwan-hyung—you _know_ he’s gonna ask a shit ton of questions later and I’m not ready for that kind of pressure.”

Woojin mutters a curse under his breath before continuing. "Jihoon, what's the big deal? We all know Seongwoo-hyung doesn't date and even if he did, you said it yourself: you're _not_ dating him."

Jihoon hates it when Woojin says it so bluntly because they both know it's not that black and white.

"Right?"

He sighs, and nods.

"So there. As far as we're concerned, you and Seongwoo-hyung are just friends so just treat him the same way you treat me, the same way you treat Niel-hyung.”

Jihoon opens his mouth to argue, but Woojin beats him to it.

“Without the sex. Obviously. Oh, God, _ew_ , I don’t want to imagine having sex with you, I—” Woojin’s body ripples with an exaggerated shudder.

Jihoon grimaces. “Thanks.”

“The point is, you and Seongwoo-hyung are friends. Really fucked up friends, but you’re friends, and you don't have to tell your brother about what you do with every single friend."

Jihoon sighs again. Woojin’s logic made sense. It was an easy enough solution.

 _But Seongwoo isn't_ just _a—_

He shakes his head, forcing himself to stop that thought.

"I just feel horrible lying to Jaehwan."

Woojin shrugs, but his voice is oddly gentle when he replies.

"It’s only lying if he asks. Which he hasn’t."

But Jihoon knows it’s only a matter of time before he does.

He turns to inspect the spine of a thick anthology of dinosaur species, squinting to make out the words in the dim lighting. His fingers pick up dust as they brush over the old leather-bound cover.

"So how much longer are we going to pretend to clean up?"

Jihoon huffs, and walks out first.

When he reaches the counter, two pairs of expectant eyes pin him in place. Seongwoo smiles.

"Oh, Jihoonie, there you are. Ready to go?"

Jihoon nods and wordlessly cleans up his desk space, completely avoiding his brother’s gaze.

“Oh, hey, Jaehwan,” Seongwoo pipes up. “When are you going back to Canada, we should totally grab lunch sometime before you go back.”

“Uh," Jaehwan replies, visibly unsure of the prospect. "I leave at the end of July.”

“Oh. Don’t you start in August?”

“I do, but I have to work out my housing. I’m getting a new roommate,” Jaehwan explains. Jihoon perks up a little at this—Jaehwan didn’t mention getting a new roommate.

“Who is it,” he asks, and his brother fixes him a blank stare. It’s a jarring contrast to the warm and bubbly gaze from before and Jihoon feels another cold wash of guilt.

_He knows something is up._

“This guy I met,” Jaehwan says, and that’s that.

"In any case, I should go. Woojin, do you need a ride?”

Woojin nods, clearly uncomfortable with the weird atmosphere and quickly gathers his things.

Jaehwan turns to Seongwoo with an outstretched hand, “Hyung, it was nice seeing you again.”

Jaehwan’s grip is strong and Jihoon catches the flicker of surprise on Seongwoo’s face when his brother roughly jostles their hands. They let go and Jaehwan turns to Jihoon once more.

“Jihoon. I'll see you at home."

Jihoon just nods, unable to speak when Jaehwan looks at him with those eyes which are brimming with unanswered questions.

“Drive safely,” Seongwoo greets as Jaehwan and Woojin head to the door.

“Bye, hyung,” Woojin says, following Jaehwan out of the shop and into the street.

Jihoon steps out and stands under the awning, waving as Jaehwan starts the engine and slowly backs out of the parking lot. He can see Woojin wave back, but Jaehwan’s face is stone cold and his eyes remain fixed to the road.

There's no way he doesn't suspect something is up. Jihoon groans.

_Fuck, I’m screwed._

And in more ways than one.

Once they're out of sight, Jihoon exhales and stomps back into the store, now officially pissed. Seongwoo has his back turned towards him, fiddling with the sticky notes on the counter.

"You just had to come today? Out of all the days you could come, you just had to pick _today?"_

"Hey, I didn't know your brother would be here, okay?"

"And you had to tell him we had plans after work? At this hour? What is he going to think?”

“Look. I’m sorry. But I texted you I was coming and you didn’t reply.”

“What, I—” Jihoon whips out his phone and sure enough, there were several unread texts from Seongwoo—two bashing on how boring his date was, three on how men are trash these days, and one saying he was on his way and that he'll be there in five.

“You gave me no time to look at these!”

Jihoon sighs.

It's stupid, really. He's not upset about Seongwoo coming into the store—okay, maybe he’s a little peeved—but he's more upset about how he feels like he's deceiving Jaehwan by keeping his and Seongwoo’s...thing…a secret. He doesn't even have a right to blame anyone other than himself—Seongwoo was very open to telling Jaehwan about their arrangement, but Jihoon had vehemently refused because doing so would undoubtedly open a whole other jar of worms he wasn't ready to open.

After tonight, however, that jar may very well just explode. 

_But remember,_ Woojin’s voice reminds him, _If you’re just friends, it’s not that big a deal._

He takes another breath.

"So what's this I hear about dinner?” he sneers. “I hope you’re paying.”

Seongwoo smirks, visibly relieved that Jihoon is back to his joking mood.

"Well, what do you want? We have the _Ong Seongwoo_ special,” he grins, leaning into Jihoon’s space, “Rave reviews. Absolutely _delicious._ You won’t regret it.”

Jihoon scoffs and pushes his face away.

"Tell me more about your date."

"Ugh, it was awful,” Seongwoo groans. “The dude couldn't take a joke to save his boring, miserable life."

"Was he hot at least?"

"No," Seongwoo replies way too easily, causing Jihoon to sputter. "I'm serious! The guy really knows how to edit his profile pictures."

Jihoon opens his mouth to retort but Seongwoo continues. 

"And before you attack me, I only use filters."

Jihoon snorts. He shuffles some papers together and makes sure to fill out his timesheet before grabbing his backpack.

“Alright, let’s go.”

“We’re going back to my place?”

“Obviously,” Jihoon rolls his eyes at the elder. “Where else?”

“Okay, easy,” Seongwoo waves his hands out in front of him. “I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to face Jaehwan’s wrath first.”

"Ugh."

“Too soon?”

Jihoon shakes his head and turns off the lights. He locks the door and together they scurry the short distance from the store to Seongwoo’s car as the sky pours over them.

The drive to Seongwoo's apartment is quick, but the elder happily occupies himself with an indie song from his playlist of obscure tracks Jihoon had never heard of anywhere else. He stares out the window, following the raindrops as they slide down the glass and reflect the vibrant lights of the city.

When they arrive, the rain is still coming down strong, and Jihoon is already prepared to make a run for the door. He unclasps his seat belt and almost opens the door.

"Wait."

"Hm—?"

Jihoon freezes when Seongwoo leans over and kisses him, his fingers gently holding his jaw in place, his lips soft, warm, and insanely addicting. 

Seongwoo lets go and Jihoon is breathless.

"You looked too cute to resist," he reasons, and Jihoon dives in for another kiss. His body twists uncomfortably to the side and he can only reach so far. He quickly grows frustrated as he grips the front of Seongwoo’s shirt, desperate to feel and touch and taste more of the other man.

After some struggle, he’s finally able to climb over to Seongwoo’s side and perch on his lap. He goes in for an open-mouthed kiss, plunging his tongue into Seongwoo’s mouth and moaning as he grinds down on Seongwoo’s thighs.

Seongwoo pulls back, his breath hot along Jihoon’s tongue. He gives a kittenish kiss to Jihoon’s lips with an endearing smile.

“As hot as this is,”— _kiss_ —“I’d rather do this in bed and not soil my car,” he admits, and pulls the latch to open the door.

Jihoon groans and scrambles back to his side. He hastily takes his things and stumbles out of the car.

The elevator ride up to the eleventh floor makes Jihoon want to choke from the sexual tension from earlier (as well as the suppressed anxiety from back in the shop). He can barely keep his hands to himself as Seongwoo opens the door to their apartment. He’s about to jump him right then and there when Seongwoo freezes, and it’s only then that Jihoon realizes with a sinking heart that they’re not alone.

“Minhyun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Hello, hello! I'm here posting my ever first Ongwink fic, and first chaptered fic in a very long time. I don't expect this to go over five chapters, but let me stop before I play myself. 
> 
> \- Kudos and comments are always appreciated; I'd love to hear what you think might happen in future chapters! 
> 
> \- Follow me on Twitter @eyesofjihoon and/or talk to me here! >> ask.fm/taesquared


	2. how long can i hang on

“You—you’re home early.”

Seongwoo pats at Jihoon’s hands around his waist and Jihoon springs away to look as innocent as possible.

Minhyun looks at the duo with utter disinterest, his lips pouting with suspicion to match his dead-eyed stare.

“Weren’t you staying over at Jonghyun’s tonight?”

“Minki’s over.”

“Oh.”

Jihoon flickers his gaze between the pair. He had heard of this Minki, but he didn’t quite pick up why that explained anything.

Minhyun sighs. He turns to enter his room but looks back at the rain-soaked intruders.

“Just…try to keep it down. Alright?”

Jihoon just nods as Minhyun gloomily goes into his room and shuts the door.

Seongwoo lets out a breath.

“Sorry,” he mutters and bends down to take his shoes off. “I really thought we’d have the place to ourselves.”

“What happened?”

“You know Jonghyun, right?”

Jihoon nods.

“Minhyun has a,” Seongwoo pauses, “…a _slight_ crush on him. I mean, who doesn’t, Jonghyun is an angel. I even considered going out with him at one point, but you know what they say: gays before lays.”

Jihoon blanches. _“No one_ says that. What does that even _mean?”_

“Anyway, the point is,” Jihoon snickers as Seongwoo continues, leading him into the kitchen. “When poor Minhyun finally got the courage to confess, Jonghyun and Minki were already a thing. Dude’s been heartbroken ever since.”

“Oh,” Jihoon sympathizes. “That’s…sad.”

Seongwoo hums.

“Yeah, today was supposed to be their movie night but I guess Minki showed up uninvited. I don’t know,” Seongwoo shrugs and pours himself a cup of juice. He takes a long sip. “You want one?”

Jihoon hums and wordlessly steals from the cup he just poured.

“Hey, that’s—!”

With him caught off guard, Jihoon presses Seongwoo to the counter and swoops in for a heated kiss, desperate to continue where they left off. Seongwoo’s lips are sweet from the juice and, _God damn it all_ , Jihoon couldn’t get enough. He nibbles at the lower lip, sucking at the flesh and smirking when Seongwoo lets out the softest moan.

He pulls Seongwoo by the waist to minimize the space between them, but the elder had other plans. 

“You,” he growls as he hoists Jihoon to sit on the counter, “…are insatiable.”

Jihoon smirks. “I take that as a compliment.”

Seongwoo shuts him up with another kiss.

Seongwoo is merciless now, his tongue messily swiping against Jihoon’s while his hands tease underneath his shirt. Jihoon sighs and gasps when Seongwoo’s long fingers make their way up to his nipples, rubbing his thumbs in circles and gently squeezing them until they were aroused. Jihoon sits back with his palms splayed behind him and his head thrown back in pleasure as Seongwoo moves down to bite and suck at his neck. Seongwoo slithers his hands down to cup around Jihoon’s waist and Jihoon wraps his legs around Seongwoo’s, pulling him closer. He grunts with desire when his erection brushes against the fabric of Seongwoo’s jeans and it’s too _hot,_ too _restricting, fuck._

“Are we doing this in your kitchen,” he breathes out hotly against Seongwoo’s mouth. His hands are already reaching for the zipper of Seongwoo’s jeans and everything is _too damn slow._

“I’m tempted,” Seongwoo replies, taking his tongue out of Jihoon’s mouth long enough to gasp, “But Minhyun…”

Seongwoo hastily pulls him down from the counter and Jihoon actually whines. He stands on his toes for another kiss but Seongwoo—the _bastard—_ jokingly holds his head high, keeping his lips just out of reach. When Jihoon scowls, he cheekily leans down to press kisses all over Jihoon’s face before taking him by the hand and guiding him into his room.

Once the door is closed, there’s a wicked gleam in his eyes and Jihoon barely gets two words in about how messy his room is before Seongwoo tackles him to the bed and relentlessly continues where he left off.

Needless to say, if it wasn’t for Seongwoo’s palm against his mouth, Jihoon would have sent Minhyun fleeing out of the apartment.

***

Jihoon wakes up and the lack of suffocating heat beside him causes him to grumble as he blindly pats the space where Seongwoo should be.

He rubs the sleep from his eyes and tries reaching for his phone which should be in his pants’ pocket—the issue being, he doesn’t know where his pants are. He blearily sits up and feels the slight twinge in his lower regions. He kicks off the blanket and moves, feeling the dried remains of a passionate night all across his stomach and along his thighs.

_God, Seongwoo’s floor is a disaster._

He first spots his shirt on top of the pillow in front of Seongwoo’s closet. His pants are on the other side of the bed and his baby pink underwear is not too far away. He narrows his eyes when he sees Seongwoo’s jeans from last night still on the floor and wonders if he changed pants or if he’s walking around the apartment with his well-endowed goods just hanging out.

He throws on his shirt and underwear and takes his phone out before plopping back onto the bed. He sees the blinking light at the top of his phone before he even turns it on and braces for the onslaught of messages and notifications.

****

**_Jaehwan-hyung:_**  
_when are you coming home  
i’ll leave the door open_

Jihoon’s first instinct is to wonder if Jaehwan really kept their door unlocked throughout the entire night. His second instinct is to panic because there’s nothing after that message and him not coming home last night, given the fact the last person Jaehwan saw him with was _Seongwoo…_

_Oh no._

Jaehwan is smart enough to connect the dots. 

His thumb is hovering over the dial button when Seongwoo walks in, clad in a clean t-shirt, running shorts, and a bath towel perched around his neck. His hair is damp from the shower he just took and his face is flushed pink from the heat.

“You’re awake,” he says, leaving the door ajar and sitting down on the bed next to Jihoon. He peers over his shoulder and Jihoon can feel tiny water droplets brushing against his cheek. He scoots over.

“Should I call him?”

“Hm?” Seongwoo squints. “Jaehwan?”

Jihoon nods, showing him the messages.

“Apparently he left the door open all night.”

Seongwoo takes the phone to read them and chuckles.

“What a good brother.” He hands it back. “Nah, I wouldn’t worry about it. Minhyunie said Jaehwan texted him last night asking where you were.”

“…Oh.”

_Great._

Now he’s really dreading going home.

He knows he’s pouting when Seongwoo makes a squeak in the back of his throat and like an attention-starved puppy, headbutts Jihoon’s cheek with his still-wet hair. Jihoon yelps, attempting to back away from the assault but Seongwoo only continues his childish act.

With an annoyed growl, Jihoon grabs the towel from around his neck and smothers Seongwoo with it, pushing him away with his palm. Seongwoo cackles and retaliates by pouncing on him with a surge of strength, quickly pinning Jihoon to the mattress and tickling his sides. Jihoon immediately coils into himself with pained laughter and surrenders with heavy gasps while Seongwoo pins his arms above his head and lies on top with a victorious grin.

For a moment, time is still. He stares into Seongwoo’s eyes and sees his reflection staring back at him. Seongwoo’s eyes flicker, unsure of where to focus, and just for a moment, he wishes they could stay like this. He wishes he could lean in and claim those lips as his, _only his,_ and not worry about the implications. He wishes they could be _so much more_ than just friends who fuck _._ He wishes—

“You should shower,” Seongwoo chuckles, heaving himself up. “Before Minhyun comes back and hogs the bathroom for two hours to try out his new cleaning products.”

…Right. Minhyun was one of _those_ people.

Jihoon grunts as he sits up, grimacing when he realizes his underwear is wet again with arousal.

He scurries to the bathroom and hopes the shower will wash away his foolish thoughts.

***

He pads into the living room where Seongwoo is humming while plating two decent-looking omelettes he somehow managed to make in fifteen minutes. The air is heavy with the smell of grease and Jihoon’s stomach growls with anticipation—after all, he hadn’t eaten in over twelve hours.

“You made these?”

“Come eat it while it’s hot,” Seongwoo beckons while bringing the tea set to the center of the table.

Jihoon gapes with awe and takes a seat in front of the elder. He mutters a quiet, “Thank you for the meal,” and dives in. He hums with pleasant surprise when the egg practically melts on his tongue and the delicious combination of tomatoes, mushrooms, and cheese explodes in his mouth.

“It’s good, right?”

Seongwoo takes a bite of his own omelette and hums with satisfaction.

“Oh. Wow. I’m good.”

His confidence is warranted when within minutes, Jihoon has quietly devoured his meal, much to the delighted amusement of the chef.

“I take it my cooking was a success?”

“That was _delicious,_ hyung, thank you,” Jihoon says, as sincerely as he can muster at 10:00 in the morning. He washes the food down with a warm cup of tea and, already feeling strangely full, enjoys the view in front of him.

 _This is so domestic,_ he thinks, adoring the way Seongwoo’s cheeks puff out as he speedily clears his plate.

“So what are your plans for the rest of the day?”

Seongwoo looks up mid-chew, his eyes wide as if he didn’t register the question. Jihoon laughs. 

“Uh, not sure," he mumbles, covering his mouth with a napkin. "I think Minhyun wanted me to help set up some furniture.”

He throws Jihoon a skeptical look. “Do you want to join?”

As much as he wants to say yes, he really should be getting home. Jaehwan was going to kick his butt no matter what, but on the bright side, he _did_ have plans to visit the new puppy café down the street.

“I can’t. I told hyung I’d get lunch with him.”

Seongwoo’s face is blank for a moment, but then he nods, and his smile returns.

“Then I’ll drive you home,” he offers. "It's hot, and the air quality sucks."

"Ah, you don't have to," Jihoon starts. "I can walk, it's not that far."

"Jihoonie. It's fine," he insists, and the sheer warmth in his gaze transfixes Jihoon to his seat.

"I like knowing you're safe and sound," he adds, and goes right back to eating as if what he said didn't just mess with Jihoon's heart and make him swoon completely from the inside out. He feels stupid. It's stupid. Because it shouldn't. But it does. And Jihoon hates it.

 _Why do you keep doing this_ , he thinks as Seongwoo begins to complain about Minhyun’s plans to add more shelving into their already cramped apartment. 

_Why do you make it so hard to not fall for you even deeper than I already have?_

***

They’re in the car on the way home when Jihoon gets the grand idea to invite Seongwoo to the pier on Sunday and catch the fireworks for the summer festival. Jaehwan didn't have any plans that day, which meant he was completely free.

He’s about to ask when Seongwoo’s phone rings— _Sungwoon-hyung_ —and Seongwoo tells him to answer for him.

“Hello?”

“Hi, hyung. What’s up, I’m driving.”

“Oh, okay. How was your date?”

Seongwoo groans.

“Terrible. Your taste in men gets worse by the day,” he jokes, and Sungwoon guffaws on the other end.

“Aw, really? Yo, I’m sorry, man, I really thought he’d be good for you.”

“Based on _what?_ ”

“Didn’t he study acting in school?”

“Pfft. That’s rich; he couldn’t even _pretend_ to laugh at one of my jokes? _Loser.”_

“Your jokes suck. He probably thought you were lame as hell.”

Jihoon quietly snickers against the palm of his hand and Seongwoo throws him an offended look.

“Anyway, guess what I heard. You know Lim Youngmin?”

“Lim Youngmin? _The_ Lim Youngmin?”

Jihoon thinks he’s heard the name _Lim Youngmin_ uttered among Minhyun and his friends maybe once or twice, but never bothered to pry. Now he’s curious.

“Yeah, he’s back in town! He came back from China last week.”

“Oh, that’s awesome,” Seongwoo says. “How long is he staying in Korea for?”

“Not sure. But, get this: I heard from Taehyun-hyung—he told me that Daehwi said that he’s still single.”

Seongwoo sighs, already knowing where this was going.

Jihoon feels his chest grow heavy.

“I—I don’t know, hyung, I really don’t think—”

“Dude, _come on!_ This is _the_ Lim Youngmin. Didn’t you used to have such a huge crush on him back in college?”

 _Oh,_ Jihoon thinks. This Lim Youngmin character was powerful enough to sway even the notoriously-single Ong Seongwoo?

Seongwoo is silent for a moment.

“I mean…yeah,” he mumbles.

“ _The_ Lim Youngmin, still single. Dude, you _have_ to go for it; who knows? You could be just what he’s looking for!”

“Hyung, we went to school together— _why_ would I suddenly be what he’s looking for?”

But Sungwoon doesn’t stop.

“Hey, I saw a photo of him the other day— _dude—_ the guy glowed _up!_ He’s _hot._ ”

Seongwoo lets out a chuckle which bordered more on a pained whimper.

“Hyung, listen, I appreciate the gesture but I really don’t think I’m cut out for this relationship thing. I've never been in one and I'm still fine! Plus, you’ve set me up with _five_ guys and none of them panned out. You know me. I mean, sure, meeting new guys is great and all, but—”

“Seongwoo, Seongwoo, I’m just asking you to _try._ Can you really say in your most honest of hearts that you _tried_ to get to know those other dudes more?”

Jihoon risks a glance and for once, Seongwoo is silently stoic as he nibbles along his bottom lip.

“I’m just saying that you never know until you try. _Really_ try. I may have been on crack before, but I really think you and Youngmin could really click. Look—”

Jihoon manages a tight-lipped smile when Seongwoo pompously rolls his eyes while Sungwoon continues to ramble about how Youngmin was not only _hot, but also_ highly _educated, and did he mention, a true lover of animals?_ He even adopted a hedgehog because it looked lonely among the other hedgehogs in the shop!

Seongwoo sighs again.

“You’re not going to let me get out of this, are you?”

“Not a chance. This is for your sake, my dude.”

Jihoon manages a bitter laugh at Sungwoon’s persistence.

“Fine. If I agree to go out to dinner with him, will you get off my back?”

“Okay, but you _have_ to promise you’ll at least _try_ to make this work.”

“I—”

“ _Fuck,_ it’s really not that hard! Plus, Youngmin is _super_ nice and I’m pretty sure you’re just his type. You two could be the next power couple, I just know it.”

“Yeah, that’s what you said about Heesung and look where that went.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. When are you free? I’m gonna message him to set you guys up.”

“Uh,” Seongwoo ponders, and Jihoon feels his heart drop yet again when he replies.

“I don’t know, let’s do Sunday evening.” Seongwoo nods. “Yeah, I should be free then.”

***

The rest of the ride is mostly silent once Sungwoon hangs up, save for Seongwoo’s attempts at a conversation and Jihoon’s obvious refusal to engage apart from a few, curt responses.

“We’re here,” Seongwoo says with a playful-but-nervous lilt after parking in front of Jihoon’s apartment.

“Thanks,” Jihoon mutters, grabbing his backpack and quickly exiting the car. He’s about to slam the door closed when Seongwoo interrupts.

“Hey. You okay?”

Jihoon stares at him coolly, considering a sarcastic response but instead falling back on, “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Seongwoo replies, unsure. “I’ll…see you around?”

“Yeah.” Jihoon closes the door and gives a halfhearted wave before turning towards the steps. He sprints into the building without looking back.

When he opens the door to his apartment, he freezes when he sees Jaehwan on the couch, working away at his laptop. His brother looks up first in surprise, but then his face hardens into a steely expression and Jihoon feels the same wash of guilt from before.

“Hyung, I—”

“Are you dating him?”

Jihoon blanches.

“What?”

 _“Ong Seongwoo,"_ he repeats, impatient. The name rings with a hint of a snarl.

“Are you dating him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The only reason I updated this as quick as I did was because of Nikki.
> 
> \- Let me know what you all think! I promise, there will be some new revelations in the future chapters!
> 
> \- Follow me on Twitter @eyesofjihoon and/or talk to me here! >> ask.fm/taesquared


	3. caught in the rush (that hides this pain)

_Two months prior._

Jihoon was studying in his room when he heard the grating buzz from his doorbell. His phone lit up with a text message and without even reading it through, he scurried to open the door. There, leaning his arm against the door frame was Ong Seongwoo with his clothes still kempt and unruffled, his phone in hand, and a playful smirk on his lips. Just another date gone wrong, yet here Seongwoo was looking very ready for a date.

Jihoon forced himself to look away before he ogled a little too hard.

“I’m not even surprised anymore.”

“You don’t say,” Seongwoo drawled, and shouldered his way in.

With a roll of his eyes, Jihoon shut the door and padded into the kitchen.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Seongwoo took off his suit coat and tossed it onto the armchair. “The guy was rich, his family owns three businesses, and he’s the lucky heir to all of them.”

 _Sugar daddy material,_ Jihoon thought with a suppressed laugh.

“Do you want water or something?”

“Nah.” Seongwoo flung himself onto the couch and stretched his long legs until his toes dangled off the edge. “Actually, can I have some juice?”

“Was he handsome at least?”

Seongwoo narrowed his eyes, thinking.

“Eh. He was kind of cute, I guess. Oh, thank you.”

Jihoon handed him a juice box and wondered if “cute” here meant by Jihoon’s or Seongwoo’s standards.

“But not enough to warrant another date.”

“He wasn’t _interesting_ enough to warrant another date,” Seongwoo corrected. “I yawned twice listening to him talk about the stock market.”

He groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. “Screw it, what’s the use. Men are disappointing. Here I am still _single._ Loveless. Practically sexless.”

“I think you’re just a bit picky,” Jihoon attempted. 

“I shouldn’t have to settle, Jihoonie,” Seongwoo said, frustration seeping through his voice. “If I’m gonna be in a relationship with someone, they have to at _least_ be as amazing as me, you know?”

Leave it to Seongwoo to mask his insecurity with overflowing confidence.

“I honestly don’t know why I try anymore. Why do I listen to Sungwoon-hyung so much anyway, like when did _he_ become my love guru? _Tsk,_ some love guru. I haven’t gotten laid in a month. That last time wasn’t even that great.”

He sat up and buried his face in his hands.

“Dating’s exhausting. It’s tiring, it’s expensive,” he rattled off. “Half the time the guys are egomaniacs to compensate for their micro-sized dicks, and if they’re nice, they’re _boring._ ”

Jihoon’s lips twisted into a dismissive shrug.

“Maybe I’m just not cut out for this whole relationship thing.”

Seongwoo’s post-date rants always came to the same conclusion and Jihoon had heard it too many times in too many variations.

_“Love is overrated.”_

_“I should adopt a cat. Do you think Daniel will let me take one of his?”_

_“I should just become an escort.”_

And Jihoon’s favorite, to date:

_“I literally sometimes think I should just marry myself.”_

Tonight was pretty tame given the track record.

This time, Jihoon responded with, “So how’s the audition prep going?”

Seongwoo perked up with a slight smile.

“I’m almost off-book, actually,” he said with a hint of pride. “I’m actually feeling pretty confident I’ll get this part.”

“That’s good,” Jihoon encouraged. “I hope you get it.”

Seongwoo pulled up the sides on his phone and Jihoon moved to sit beside him.

“So what’s this one about?”

Seongwoo stilled.

“Um. Don’t laugh, okay?” He gave Jihoon a look that said, _I have rent to pay so Lord help me get through this cringefest of a script._

Jihoon’s lips twisted into a smirk.

“I probably will.”

“Ugh. It’s pretty much the most cliché trope ever,” he lamented and scooted closer to show Jihoon the script on his phone. As he described the characters, Jihoon caught a light whiff of the alluring spice-filled scent of Seongwoo’s cologne.

He resisted moving closer.

“It’s an airport scene. My character, Seongho, he— _don’t laugh—_ he’s just arrived at the airport, and he’s trying to find the girl he likes before she boards a plane and flies to America.”

Jihoon snorted. “Typical.”

Seongwoo playfully jabbed Jihoon’s arm.

“I’m sure you can guess what happens next.”

As Jihoon skimmed through the script, Seongwoo eyed him with interest. “Do you wanna go over the scene with me?”

“Sure,” Jihoon nodded, and Seongwoo handed him his phone. He leaned in again to point at the script—Jihoon resisted the urge to ~~kiss~~ admire the three prettily-placed moles on his cheek.

“Cool. So just read Dahee’s lines starting from…here.”

“Okay.” Jihoon cleared his throat and went into his actor mode. He stood up and moved a little away from the couch. He could hear Seongwoo getting up behind him as well.

With the script in hand, he began to invoke _Min Dahee_ , nervous but determined to run away from her familiar life in Seoul. She’s at the airport, standing in line and about to go through security to catch her flight to America when she hears her name being called out by Seongwoo’s character, _Choi Seongho_. She turns around and is shocked to see him hunched over, disheveled, his hands on his knees and panting heavily in front of her. People are starting to stare.

_“Oppa. What are you doing here?”_

Seongho’s eyes are tired, but gleam with obvious relief. He found her, he found Dahee just in time, which meant there was still a chance.

_“I—I came to see you.”_

_“Me?”_ Dahee raises a disbelieving brow.

_“I needed to talk to you.”_

She scowls, _“I think you’ve said enough.”_

_“Don’t go to America.”_

Seongho stands up straighter, determination flaring in his eyes.

_“Please, Dahee-ya. Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”_

Dahee stares him up and down and her lips twist with scorn.

 _“Go_ home, _oppa,”_ she says, polite but firm.

 _“No,”_ he growls. _“I’m not leaving without you.”_

A bigger crowd has started to form and Dahee shifts uncomfortably. She sighs and makes to turn around.

_“Oppa, you’re causing a scene. Please, just go, I don’t want to—”_

_“I love you!”_

Dahee freezes. Did she hear correctly?

_“What?”_

_“I love you,”_ Seongho’s voice wavers behind her. _“I love you, Min Dahee.”_

Dahee turns back to face him and sadly shakes her head.

_“You don’t mean that.”_

_“But I do. Dahee-yah, back then, at the lake. Do you remember? I meant it when I said you were special. And I meant it when I said you were the best thing that’s ever happened to me—that was all true! And do you know why, Dahee-yah, do you know why I said that? Because you_ , you _were the first person to ever make me feel like I was worth something! You were the only one who believed in my talent and if it weren’t for you, I’d still be at that shitty restaurant, waiting tables, only_ dreaming _of being where I am today.”_

Seongho takes a step forward.

 _“I owe my life to you, Min Dahee. And I’ve done nothing to return even a fraction of what you gave me,”_ he chokes up with guilt. _“And now, if…if you leave. How can I ever—”_

Another step.

 _“Stop,”_ Dahee commands, and Seongho startles when he sees tears in her eyes. _“Don’t come any closer.”_

And another.

 _“STOP!”_ Dahee screams, and it’s like the rest of the world submerges underwater. Everything else has turned into white noise.

_“Dahee-yah—”_

_“Who do you think you are, Choi Seongho? Huh? Who are you to—”_ Dahee fails to hold back tears.

 _“I had everything figured out, you bastard. You were supposed to be with Kim Minji and stay here in Seoul and live the best life you could ever have with your new agency and your new career. You were going to be the next big thing and I had no part in that future. I told myself I didn’t_ need _a part in that future, I didn’t_ need _you. I could just go to America and start anew and forget_ you. _Just like we never met. But now…now you’re here and—”_

Seongho pulls Dahee into his arms as she completely breaks down, shattering the mask of indifference and calm she had been wearing prior to his arrival.

 _“I’m sorry.”_ Seongho whispers, threading soothing fingers into her hair. _“I’m so sorry, Dahee-yah. You suffered so much because of me and I hate myself because of it.”_

He pulls away to look, _really_ look into Dahee’s beautiful eyes.

 _“I know I don’t deserve it. I know I don’t deserve_ you. _But, Dahee-yah,”_ he smiles, gentle and sincere, and wipes away her tears with his thumb, _“I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else, so, please… Will you give this stupid boy another chance to make things right again?”_

Dahee pulls him into another hug before he even finishes and she laughs, still teary-eyed, as the spectators cheer. When they pull apart again, Seongho looks into her eyes, his gaze burning with emotion, and he slowly begins to lean in.

***

Jihoon’s eyes widened. He sucked in a breath as Seongwoo— _Seongho_ —tilted his head and moved closer. He couldn’t move, not with the way Seongho’s fingers were pressing into the back of his neck and pulling him closer while his arm remained wrapped around his waist. He shut his eyes and his heart raced painfully in his chest. The sweet and addicting scent made him dizzy and yet here he was, frozen still.

But just as he was about to lean in, Seongwoo returned with a dazzling grin.

“Hey, that was good, Jihoonie, thank you!”

Jihoon blinked as Seongwoo took a step back. He gaped, speechless.

_What just happened?_

His heart still beat furiously but now a wave of emptiness was starting to overtake him.

_He was so close to—!_

“Y-yeah,” he forced out, and cleared his throat. “No problem, hyung.”

“Gosh, I keep forgetting how good you are,” Seongwoo praised. “You really should consider getting a manager, Jihoonie; I’m telling you, you could be the next big thing.”

Jihoon let out a hollow chuckle.

“You were good too. I hope you get that part, hyung, it suits you.” He handed the phone back to Seongwoo and tried to ignore the fleeting warmth of their fingers accidentally brushing together.

He escaped into the kitchen and poked his head into the refrigerator. Maybe the cool could help him calm down.

“So when was the last time you went on a date?”

Jihoon flinched, unaware that Seongwoo had followed him.

“Uh, I went on a lunch date with Woojin last week.”

“Ey, come on, you know what I meant.”

Jihoon took out a can of sparkling water and opened it, merely for the sake of having something to do. He plastered on a smarmy grin as he took a sip.

“There’s nothing another man can give me that I can’t give myself.”

_“I can think of a few things.”_

“But don’t misunderstand,” he continued. “It’s not a matter of getting a man. I can get any man I want—I just choose not to. My experience tells me it’s not worth it.”

Seongwoo looked at him with renewed interest.

“Is that so,” he drawled while reaching for the can. He kept his gaze locked onto Jihoon’s as he stole a sip. “I think you’re lying.”

Jihoon crossed his arms with his chin held up. “Oh yeah? Which part?”

Seongwoo laughed in that devilish way where his tongue poked out and brushed over his canines.

“Park Jihoon, I bet you haven’t even had your first kiss.”

Jihoon sputtered, “I—I will have you know, _hyung._ I made out with this boy back in high school thanks to a round of Truth or Dare. They all called me a prude so I proved them wrong.”

“Mhmm,” Seongwoo’s cheshire grin irritated him to no end. “Sure. Does your brother know about this?”

“Just ask Woojin. He even has video evidence.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Was it good?”

“I—” Jihoon flushed and stole back his drink. “The point is, I’m _not_ that innocent, contrary to what you think.”

“Then prove it.”

“I—what?”

Seongwoo huffed with a smirk and Jihoon felt that same surge of annoyance oddly mixed with more dangerous emotions. 

“Prove it.”

Seongwoo moved to Jihoon’s side of the counter and sauntered closer. With every step he took, Jihoon wondered if the way his heart angrily beat in his chest was how Dahee’s felt when Seongho tried to win her back. He stopped until he was standing just inches away and looked down into Jihoon’s eyes.

“If you’re not as innocent as you say,” he said, his voice husky and languid. “Prove it.”

“H-how?” With his bluff called off, Jihoon looked down, unable to make eye contact with his _flaming_ crush who was standing _far too close for comfort, Jesus Christ._

Seongwoo gently pressed his thumb against Jihoon’s chin, coaxing him to look up. He smiled with a knowing glint, and Jihoon felt like he short-circuited.

There was _no way_ Seongwoo was serious—this _had_ to be some type of twisted roleplay. Maybe Dahee and Seongho have more sexual tension in a later scene and Seongwoo was playing his part. Or maybe this was just Seongwoo’s cruel idea of a joke to play on poor “innocent” Jihoon.

Jihoon’s mind raced. At any second Seongwoo was going to jump away and laugh at how long he was able to carry on the joke—Jihoon didn’t think he could survive that type of humiliation. He was about to pull away and stop this torture but his body mistranslated the warning in his brain—the next thing he knew, he was leaning forward and pressing his lips to Seongwoo’s. He briefly registered Seongwoo gripping his shoulders and his breath hitching with surprise. When he jumped back and opened his eyes, Seongwoo’s gaze was unreadable. His lips were slightly parted and by _God,_ Jihoon wanted to kiss him again, but then the fear and panic took over.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Jihoon gasped out, the horror of what he just did beginning to overwhelm him. “Oh my God, hyung, I shouldn’t have—”

He reeled back when Seongwoo cut him off with another kiss, this time longer, _firmer_ , and Jihoon short-circuited again. Seongwoo’s lips were _warm,_ and just the slightest friction was enough for Jihoon’s to succumb and fall pliant. His legs felt like liquid and he let out a quiet moan when Seongwoo pressed him against the counter, his hands snugly cupping his waist.

Seongwoo pulled back again with the softest gasp, his lips now glistening under the LED lights.

“Is this okay?”

Seongwoo’s gaze was gentle, overwhelmingly tender, and without any trace of the cockiness from when he arrived.

Jihoon somehow managed to nod, and Seongwoo dove in again, this time while pressing his waist against Jihoon’s into the counter. Jihoon gasped from the pressure, and as Seongwoo pushed his tongue into his mouth, he couldn’t help but wonder if this would all be a forgotten fever dream in the morning. He still wasn’t convinced this was actually happening.

 _How had tonight come to this?_ How was he, Park Jihoon, kissing his supposed-to-be-unrequited crush, Ong Seongwoo? Did he actually like him back? (Probably not.) Was he just releasing his frustration over another failed date? (Probably.)

But as they continued to make out, and as their hands started roaming over and under each other’s clothes, Jihoon’s questions were silenced and transformed into wanton moans and desperate mumbles for _more,_ and he couldn’t find a good enough reason to stop whatever it was Seongwoo was doing.

***

He awoke the next morning in an almost delirious haze. The first thing he noticed was his lack of pants which threw him careening back to the memories of irrevocable late night decisions.

_Oh my God, what have I done?_

The bed beside him was empty, the sheet untucked to wrinkles and the blanket thrown carelessly to one side.

Jihoon raced into the bathroom and gasped when he looked in the mirror. He knew Seongwoo had been rough, but not _this_ rough. He ran his fingers over the hickies on his neck and felt himself harden again with forbidden excitement. He still couldn’t believe yesterday had been real, but there was no mistaking the passionate marks all over his body. He finished his business in a daze and found a clean shirt which did little to cover up Seongwoo’s handiwork.

He made his way to the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

Seongwoo stood in front of the sink. _Is he…washing the strawberries?_

“Ah, hyung, you don’t have to wash those.”

“Oh, I just,” Seongwoo sheepishly dried his hands. “I wanted some?”

To prove his point, he took a strawberry and blindly popped it into his mouth, stem and all. Jihoon held back a smile when Seongwoo’s face contorted with disgust.

For a moment, they just stared at each other and Jihoon could see the same level of nervousness reflected in Seongwoo’s eyes. The images of last night washed over him again and Jihoon’s frown returned.

“Hyung. About last night,” he started meekly. “What are we?”

Seongwoo stared at him, his usually expressive face now devoid of any emotion save for anxious.

“Are we,” Jihoon swallowed, resisting the urge to flee and lock himself in his room. “Are we still friends?”

Seongwoo’s eyes widened with surprise.

“Of course we are,” he replied, a bit taken aback. “You’ll always be my friend, Jihoonie.”

But instead of relief, Jihoon felt helpless. They had irreversibly crossed that boundary. Friends don’t kiss each other. Friends don’t touch each other, and they most definitely don’t have sex with each other.

He felt the slightest flicker of hope root itself into his heart, but he immediately stamped it down. _What if last night was just a one-time thing?_

“I’d like to stay friends with you,” Seongwoo continued, and for a second, Jihoon swore his eyes flashed with an icy cold, as if preparing for the worst possible outcome. “But I can understand if you regret what we did and you don’t want anything to do with me anymore—”

“No!” Jihoon cried, stunning the other with his outburst. “I didn’t say that. I…I don’t regret what we did at all.”

He blushed at the admission and a faint smile made its way onto Seongwoo’s lips.

“Well, good. Because I don’t regret it either.”

The flicker returned, and Jihoon didn’t miss the way Seongwoo’s words carried an unspoken _“but”._

“I don’t want what we did to ruin our friendship,” Seongwoo admitted. “Believe it or not, I actually like having you around and it’d be a damn shame if we let this cause a rift in between us.”

Jihoon chuckled. Frankly, it was a bit comical how serious the situation had become over something as quotidian as sex.

“If it’s alright with you,” he proposed, his voice slow and steady. “I wouldn’t mind doing what we did again.”

Jihoon looked up in shock. He couldn’t believe his ears.

“Personally, I really enjoyed what we did last night. You’re really not that innocent after all,” Seongwoo punctuated with a laugh. “Since neither of us are into each other and neither of us wants a relationship, let’s just think of this as a perk,” he concluded with a grin.

“We stay friends. But we’ll just be _really good_ friends,” Seongwoo winked.

Jihoon didn’t think he had heard the word “friends” so many times in such a short period of time. His chest collapsed a little with every reminder, but Seongwoo was right. He _wasn’t_ looking for a relationship. Park Jihoon was a solo act.

“So, friends,” Jihoon parroted. “But with benefits.”

“Yeah.”

“So say you, or I,” he added, “Say hypothetically, one of us finds, uh, someone we want to date and go out with.” He gives Seongwoo a wary look. “Does the arrangement stop?”

Seongwoo nods. “The arrangement stops whenever either of us wants to cut it off.”

He laughs. “Let’s be real, this is purely because we’re both guys with unresolved sex drives because men are trash. There are no strings attached.”

Jihoon nodded. The silence that followed was heavy, and the more Seongwoo insisted there were no feelings involved, the more Jihoon felt his heart get chewed up from the inside out.

But this was the best solution given the circumstances. Apart from the sex, nothing was really going to change.

“Shall we shake on it?”

Jihoon stared at his outstretched hand and hesitantly stepped forward.

 _Nothing’s going to change._ It was far better than nothing.

He reached out his hand.

“Hey. You alright?”

He squeaked when Seongwoo suddenly pulled him in for a hug.

“H-hyung?”

“You looked kind of depressed, are you okay,” Seongwoo swayed with a chuckle and squeezed his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him.

“I—I’m fine, hyung.” Jihoon stuttered from the proximity. Seongwoo pulled away but kept him at arm’s length. “I’m just a little sore, I guess.”

Seongwoo burst with his boisterous laughter and Jihoon found himself relaxing in his hold. Nothing had changed, Seongwoo was still Seongwoo. He could tell himself their friendship had just received a power-up, nothing more.

“I’ll be a bit more gentler next time,” he teased, patting the younger on the head and again on the cheek before leaving the kitchen and letting Jihoon wallow in his thoughts.

_ Present Time. _

_“Ong Seongwoo. Are you dating him?”_

Jihoon swallows down the bitter feeling in his throat.

“We’re just friends, hyung.”

“What, he just wanted to have a sleepover with you? I’m not an _idiot,_ Jihoon.”

Jaehwan closes his laptop and tosses it aside. He gets up and moves to the kitchen and Jihoon warily watches him rip open a packet of _ramyeon_.

Jihoon huffs. “Hyung, if you’re mad I didn’t come home last night—”

“I’m not _mad,_ Jihoon, I’m just confused as to why you’re getting involved with _him._ ”

“He’s not a bad person, hyung.”

“No, but even you can’t deny he’s done some pretty shitty things.”

Jaehwan turns on the kettle and Jihoon feels his temper begin to flare. His voice deepens.

“Is this about the band? Hyung, do you even know how _horrible_ he felt about that?”

“I’m not talking about the _band,_ Jihoon, I’m talking about how he treats other people!”

Jihoon scoffs, clenching his jaw.

“And what would you know about that? You haven’t spoken to him for almost a year.”

“Oh, I don’t need to speak to him to know he throws people away the second he has no need for them. I’m not going to pretend to be ignorant, Jihoon, I know all about Seongwoo’s _romantic_ endeavors so don’t even _think_ about playing dumb with me.”

Jaehwan pierces him with a livid glare and Jihoon catches the moment his eyes flicker to the poorly-concealed marks on his neck. He huffs, bitter, and makes to say something, but instead of a caustic remark, his voice drops and becomes threateningly quiet.

“Do you have feelings for him?”

Jihoon looks away.

“That’s none of your business, hyung.”

“Jihoon, it’s my business because I _care!”_

 _“I can take care of myself!”_ Jihoon roars, and Jaehwan is stunned silent.

“I’m not a fucking kid anymore, hyung,” he spits. “I don’t need your protection.”

The whistling of the kettle slices through the tension and Jaehwan pours the boiling water into the pot.

“It’s your life, Jihoon,” he says, watching it come to an angry simmer. “I’m just trying to help. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Dismissed, Jihoon escapes to his room and slams the door closed. He doesn’t bother to change out of his clothes and collapses onto the bed. He buries himself under the blanket to block out the offending sun and wills himself to sleep.

 _That’s the issue,_ he ponders miserably.

 _I_ don't _know what I'm doing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The number of times I struggled with this chapter...even now, I'm not super confident about it, but the story must continue! Thank you for being patient~ <3
> 
> \- I inadvertently wrote an entire prologue to this story when I was writing the flashback portion. (Will it ever see the light of day?)
> 
> \- I would like to mention that we don't talk about Jaehwan's Geministic personality enough. The entire time I'm writing him as the angry older brother, I'm imagining that one photo where he whips around and glares at a sasaeng fan. 
> 
> \- If you don't already know, "off-book" just means an actor has completely memorized a script, and "sides" refer to the scenes an actor is given when they audition. (Consider me throwing this lingo in as a tribute to my dead acting career.)
> 
> \- Kudos and comments make me happy. 
> 
> \- Follow me on Twitter @ eyesofjihoon - I like screaming about Wanna One.


	4. how to replace you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Hello, I am alive. How have you all been?

He still feels the continuous waves of guilt, anger, frustration and heartbreak the second he opens his eyes. Through his blinds, he can see the sun has started to set— _have I really been asleep for that long?_ —and with groggy eyes, he slowly goes out into the living room.

Jaehwan is putting something in the refrigerator when he walks in. His face softens with worry.

“I ordered takeout.” He holds out a plastic container half filled with cooked duck and marinated vegetables. “Do you want some?”

Jihoon’s stomach answers for him. He nods and takes the container.

“Thanks.”

The food is still lukewarm so he serves himself a bowl of rice and plops down at the table. He chews and smiles absentmindedly.

“It’s good. Thank you, hyung.”

Jaehwan wordlessly scoots into the adjacent seat and rests his chin on his hands. Doing his best to avoid eye contact, Jihoon pushes the grains of rice around in his bowl. He swallows another bite.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, hyung. And for not telling you about…well, everything. I guess I just didn’t know how, since,” Jihoon flusters. “You know.”

“I know,” Jaehwan replies, solemn. “I thought it over. And I get it.”

Jihoon looks up, not quite believing he does, but not willing to argue.

“Perhaps, I was just playing the overprotective card. Sometimes I feel like I can’t help it, you know how it is.” Jaehwan smiles slightly. “But, you’re an adult now, so you can make your own decisions. Even if I don’t agree with them.”

Jihoon nods his gratitude and busies his mouth with oil-soaked vegetables.

Visibly uncomfortable, his brother hesitates before asking, “Can I ask how long it’s been?”

Jihoon raises an eyebrow. “You mean…?” He vaguely gestures with his hands. _How long have we been screwing each other or…?_

Jaehwan cringes. “How long have you and him been a thing?”

That wasn’t any easier to answer. Is he asking how long they had been screwing around or how long it took for Jihoon to realize he was in too deep? In either case, Jihoon doesn’t want to entertain a lengthy explanation; thankfully Jaehwan backpedals with a firm shake of his head.

“Actually, never mind. Forget I asked.”

Jihoon offers a placating smile and continues to eat. The silence brims with unanswered questions—and he knows Jaehwan has many—but at least it’s not suffocating.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Jaehwan finally says, and Jihoon meets his gaze. His face is mostly blank but his eyes reflect a deepening concern and lingering worry. 

“I trust you,” he insists, “But just be careful. Okay?” 

Jihoon nods with a tight smile. He knows it’s the most approval he’ll get for a while.

Jaehwan gets up to leave and Jihoon perks up.

“Hey, do you want to go to the festival with me tomorrow? We missed it last year, so…”

Jaehwan gives a confused look before his face quickly falls.

“I completely forgot about that. I just made plans to go see Sewoon in Busan tomorrow afternoon.”

“Oh,” Jihoon falters.

“Shoot, I’m sorry, buddy,” Jaehwan frowns.

“No, no, it’s okay! Really,” Jihoon flashes an awkward smile. “I’ll just, I’ll go by myself.”

Jaehwan furrows a brow. “You could ask Seongwoo-hyung to go with you.”

Again, Jihoon feels that slight jolt in his chest and he looks down at his bowl.

“He’s…busy.”

“…Oh.”

But before the air gets too stuffy, Jihoon quickly responds.

“It’s okay, I’ll figure something out.” He shovels the rest of the food into his mouth and scrapes his bowl clean.

Jaehwan sighs. “Sorry, Jihoon,” he mutters and makes to leave. “And uh, you’ll wash the dishes?”

Jihoon grimaces, but relents with a halfhearted nod.

“Thanks.” Jaehwan ruffles his hair before retreating into his room. Jihoon can admit he feels a smidge better.

Just a smidge.

Later that night, Jihoon shoots a message to Woojin.

*******

"We need better fireworks," Woojin mumbles as he chews on a sausage. "Like the ones that explode and then explode again into smaller fireworks?"

Jihoon bites into his _tteokbokki._ "I think our tax dollars can be put to better use than that."

“You’re one to talk,” Woojin scoffs. “You don't make enough to even pay taxes."

"Bite me."

He screeches when Woojin actually threatens to do so and flushes when the girls walking next to them give confused, judgmental stares. He spots a stall selling warm and fresh _bungeo-ppang_ —sweet fish-shaped pastries—and quickly buys two—for himself.

They continue to walk down the vivacious boardwalk, slowly passing by vendors and performance artists. A small crowd had gathered up ahead and as they got closer, they could hear booming music and cheers rippling throughout the crowd.

“What’s up there,” he asks, and Woojin shrugs.

They squeeze their way past onlookers and find a tight spot close to the front of the crowd but squeezed up against the wooden fence. A large mat had been placed to cover half of the boardwalk and curious eyes moved past in both directions. On the mat were b-boy dancers all dressed in the same loose black hoodies, all with differing colored caps as they cheered and hollered for the soloist who was currently performing.

“Hey, it’s Niel-hyung,” Woojin recognizes with awe. He cheers when Daniel, sporting his millenial pink cap, does a particularly impressive windmill and poses in a freeze. Daniel leaps back onto his feet and bows with a charming smile, earning cheers from his co-dancers and the occasional admirer in the crowd.

Daniel scurries off to let the next dancer jump in. He’s high-fiving one of his friends when he catches sight of Jihoon and Woojin. His face lights up with surprise and he scurries around the back to make his way to their side of the crowd.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here!” Daniel pulls each of them into a warm hug. “Pardon the sweat.”

“No worries,” Woojin remarks, earning a pat between his shoulders. “You were really good back there, hyung.”

“Aw, thanks, buddy,” Daniel beams. “That was just my usual, nothing spectacular.”

“Take the compliment, you jerk,” Jihoon jokes. “Leave some talent for the rest of us.”

“Aw,” Daniel waves off the praise, ridiculously humble as always. He eyes the _bungeo-ppang_ in Jihoon’s hand and his face glows with curiosity. He points, “Yo, where did you get that?”

Jihoon is caught mid-bite so he flicks his chin and points down the way they came.

“There’s a stall over there selling them,” he mumbles and Daniel gapes.

“We didn’t see any _bungeo-ppang_ stalls coming in,” he says and points in the opposite direction. “We came from that way and we only saw _tteokbokki_ and _kimbap._ How much did they cost?”

Jihoon estimates a price as Daniel pulls out a wallet and inspects the bills he has. He smiles when he realizes he still has a good amount.

“Lead the way, kids. I’m starving,” he says with the giddiness of a ten-year-old, and starts heading down the boardwalk.

_“Niel-ah!”_

They turn to see a man dressed in a white buttoned dress shirt with jeans running up to them. Daniel recognizes him immediately.

“Minjae, buddy!” Daniel greets with a one-armed hug. “Glad you could make it! Guys, this is Minjae; he _just_ came back from Seoul. We used to go to school together before I moved to Masan. Minjae, these are my friends, Woojin and Jihoon.”

“Someone’s fashionable,” Woojin easily jokes with the newcomer. “Typical of a Seoulite.”

Minjae laughs, “This is what I always wear.”

“As I said,” Woojin throws a playful glance to Jihoon. “Typical.”

Minjae’s gaze falls on Jihoon and he offers a shy smile. “Hello.”

Jihoon offers his non-sticky hand.

“Hi.”

From up close, Minjae is admittedly really handsome. His features are soft but masculine. His raven-colored hair floats over his forehead like a manhwa character’s, and something in his smile reflects a hidden maturity that Jihoon finds intriguing.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Minjae smiles.

It’s a pretty smile.

Jihoon shoves his hand into his pocket after their handshake. He’s awful with new people. There’s a moment when the two of them are just awkwardly waddling to let the other speak until Daniel pipes up.

“Hey, we were just about to get something to eat. You should join us!”

Minjae brightens; he clearly seems far more comfortable talking to Daniel.

“I don’t think I have a choice,” he banters. “But hey, now you can finally show me what the Masan delicacies are.”

Daniel leads the way down the boardwalk, happily chatting with Minjae by his side and asking his friend what he’s been up to in Seoul.

Behind them, Woojin nudges at Jihoon’s arm with a twinkle in his eye.

 _Is he your type,_ Woojin hints with a smirk.

Jihoon rolls his eyes, ignoring him to enjoy the view.

***

Three _bungeo-ppang_ s later, the four of them find themselves in a little makeshift restaurant situated off the boardwalk while overlooking the sea. The waves ebb and crash on the sand and the smell of salt and crackling firewood permeate the air. A hot grill sizzles in the middle of the table.

“I can’t believe Jaehwan forgot about the best festival of the year,” Daniel complains as he cuts more pieces of meat over the grill. “Canada’s changed him.”

“I haven’t seen Sewoon-hyung since we graduated high school,” Woojin remarks from beside him.

“Oh my God, I miss him,” Daniel whines, placing a piece of jowl in Minjae’s bowl. “We should go visit him sometime. Road trip to Busan.”

“You should visit me in Seoul,” Minjae says while chewing. “You keep saying you’ll drop by and then never do.”

“Hyung, what’s your major,” Woojin asks while grabbing a piece of pickled radish.

“I’m in the performing arts department with a focus in theatre.”

“No way,” Woojin says while giving Jihoon a painfully long and knowing look. “Jihoon here has _always_ wanted to go to Seoul to study theatre.”

“Really?” Minjae perks up and suddenly all eyes are on Jihoon. “You like acting?”

Jihoon flushes. “I’ve been acting since I was five.”

“His first role was a tree.”

Jihoon elbows the nuisance beside him.

Minjae leans forward, eyes wide and glimmering with interest. “So are you in Masan University’s theatre department then? I heard Director Lee Sangjin is doing some great things down here.”

Jihoon nods, acutely aware that Daniel and Woojin are monitoring his every move. “He’s very ambitious.”

“I’ve heard,” Minjae smiles. “Are you auditioning for any of his works?”

“I am. I think the sides go up on the website next month.”

“Do you know what the productions are going to be?”

Jihoon thinks back. “I know we’re doing something from Shakespeare—I’m auditioning for that. Some student plays too, I think, which I’m also auditioning for, and then a musical in the spring. I’m excited.”

“That’s amazing,” Minjae gapes. “Break a leg.”

Jihoon mumbles his thanks and quickly scowls at Woojin who is sporting an obnoxiously cheeky smile.

“And what about you,” he reciprocates, happy for the attention to be on someone else. Easy enough, Minjae excitedly dives into a full-blown catalogue of all the diverse characters he’s ever played, some of which he loved and adored, while others he struggled to encapsulate. As it turns out, both he and Minjae used to act in productions of Macbeth, both playing the role of Banquo.

“Well, it seems you two have a lot in common,” Daniel chuckles. “Let it be known that it was the Great Kang Daniel who birthed this fateful friendship.”

“Please don’t say ‘birthed’,” Woojin says with a grimace. At Minjae’s confusion, he continues. “There was this guy we knew who _always_ used that word as a synonym for _‘create’_ and it became this whole inside joke which we’ve all grown out of except for this guy right here.”

Jihoon snickers. “Remember when Hyunbin-hyung _birthed_ his salad.”

“Or when he _birthed_ that sculpture of a five-legged cat?”

At this point, Daniel had dissolved into uncontrollable squeaky laughter, earning a concerned look from his friend.

“I,” Daniel wheezes. “I actually ran into him,” _wheeze,_ “I saw him in the square a few weeks ago.”

“Hyunbin-hyung?” Woojin asks, and Jihoon tunes in with renewed interest. He hadn’t seen Hyunbin in almost a year.

“In Masan?”

Daniel nods while coughing to clear his throat.

“I always assumed once he got out, he’d never come back,” Woojin voices Jihoon’s thoughts exactly.

“He was back for some sponsorship,” Daniel explains. “He should be back in New York by now, though.”

“Damn. Kwon Hyunbin living the life,” Woojin mutters, both in awe and with mild jealousy. “In a few years, he’ll be able to buy all of Masan, just watch.”

“I’m just glad to see he’s doing so well,” Daniel admits, and Jihoon silently agrees.

Daniel turns to Minjae, “Hyunbin has the longest legs you’ll ever see so if you ever need someone to play a beanstalk, he’s your guy.”

“Is he a model?” Minjae inquires. “I bet he’s handsome if he’s doing sponsorships.”

Woojin raises a secret eyebrow to Jihoon as Daniel pulls out his phone and brings up Hyunbin’s profile on Instagram.

“Oh, wow,” Minjae gapes while skimming through the hundreds of selfies and product endorsements on Hyunbin’s page. “He’s a legit celebrity.”

“Masan’s pride and joy,” Woojin mutters.

“I still can’t believe Hyunbin was the one who hit it big after disbandment,” Daniel jokes, and Woojin whistles. Jihoon cringes.

“Disbandment?” Minjae turns to him, confused.

“Uh, Niel-hyung and Hyunbin-hyung were in a band with my brother and another friend,” Jihoon explains, carefully avoiding Daniel’ and Woojin’s questioning glances. “They were a thing for about a year. I’m surprised Niel-hyung didn’t tell you.”

“I posted our performances on Facebook,” Daniel protests, hastily scrolling through his timeline in search for their old videos.

“Bro, I haven’t used Facebook in _years_ ,” Minjae retorts, leaning over when Daniel finally pulls up a grainy 360-pixel video of one of their first gigs.

“Whoa.” The tinny sounds of the guitar and keyboard filter through the phone’s speaker at a low volume. “Ah, there you are, Daniel. Back when you had pink hair, eh?”

Daniel smiles and a high note pierces through the recording. Minjae gapes.

“Yo, who is that? His vocals are crazy good.”

“That’s Jaehwan,” Daniel remarks with pride. “Jihoon’s hyung.”

“Really,” Minjae turns to Jihoon. “Damn, he’s got _pipes._ Your brother is freakin’ cool.”

Jihoon chuckles and reaches for the kimchi. He’d pass the word on to Jaehwan later; he’d be happy to hear that.

“Is that Hyunbin?”

Daniel peers over. He stills and his face flattens for a split second.

“No, _that’s_ Hyunbin,” Daniel points to the tall bass guitarist standing on Jaehwan’s right side.

“Oh. Wow, he _is_ really tall. Huh,” Minjae points to the drummer in the back. “So who’s that? He’s handsome too. He kind of looks mixed?”

Daniel shares an uncomfortable glance to Woojin and Jihoon.

“Seongwoo-hyung,” he answers, and with a hint of bitterness, he adds, oblivious to the way Jihoon freezes in his seat:

“He’s the reason we disbanded.”

***

Seongwoo wants to slap himself.

For the most part, Youngmin is a good guy. Actually, he's a _great_ guy. Just like Sungwoon said, he's hot, highly educated, and has a heart of gold. Even when he tries, he can't find a single flaw about this dude and in the back of his mind, he knows he should be ecstatic.

"So what do you do these days," his date asks with a dazzling smile before sipping from a glass of a blanc sauvignon.

"Uh, well, I'm an actor," Seongwoo starts while cutting into his steak. (It was the cheapest steak on the menu.)

"Really? Have you been cast in anything noteworthy?"

_Define noteworthy._

"I was an extra in Sky Castle," Seongwoo suggests, and Youngmin's eyes practically bulge out of their sockets.

"Yo, are you serious? That's amazing," he gapes. "How was that?"

Seongwoo shrugs. "It was fun, I guess. I didn't have any lines, but I did get some homework done during filming. Mostly I was trying to memorize sides for other auditions. The entire day I was like," he proceeds to give an exaggerated replay of his philosopher-style thinking poses.

Youngmin laughs.

It's easy to talk to Youngmin. Maybe it's because they're the same age, or maybe it's because they went to school together once upon a time. Seongwoo wonders what Sungwoon had told Youngmin about him—surely nothing too scandalous if tonight’s date was any indication.

Objectively, he and Youngmin _do_ click, as much as he wants to spite Sungwoon and find just one thing he could use as an excuse to not push this thing forward.

Once the checks arrive and the waiter comes to retrieve their cards, Youngmin excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

"I'll be right back."

Seongwoo nods and whips out his phone for the first time that evening. He scrolls through his emails and swipes away the irrelevant notifications.

He opens Instagram and the first thing he sees is an update from Jihoon. It hasn’t even been an hour since the upload and it’s easy to see that the pictures are from the summer festival at the pier. He wonders if Jihoon is still there.

The first image is of Jihoon. His arms are perched on the wooden railing as he looks forlornly out onto the water with bright golden lights and excited vendors bustling in the background. It could very easily be the promotional picture for a coming-of-age film, and Seongwoo smiles, already thinking of a snarky comment to leave.

He swipes to an equally artsy picture of the fireworks, followed by a broody snapshot of the water with dancing lights in the background. He swipes some more and sees food stands, some street performers, more lights…

_Huh._

There’s a picture with the vignette filter centered on two figures with their backs towards the camera as they walk down the boardwalk. Closer to the camera is a blur of crimson hair who he immediately recognizes to be Woojin. He sees the telltale flannel around one of the two figures whose shoulders are broad as ever— _Kang Daniel?_

Seongwoo is hit with a wave of nostalgia. He hasn’t spoken to Daniel in a long time. Despite also working at the same bookstore as Jihoon, their shifts were always separate, with Daniel taking the morning shift and Jihoon taking over at night. Whenever Seongwoo decided to pop in to see Jihoon—which wasn’t very often at all—Daniel was never around anyway, which gave them no reason to see each other.

It’s not that he hates Daniel. Not at all. And he hopes Daniel doesn’t hate him either (even if he has every right to). But by the time Seongwoo was ready to rekindle whatever friendship they had prior to the disbandment, too much time had passed and now they were barely more than strangers.

Swallowing his guilt, he swipes to a cheeky picture of Woojin giving the camera a death glare as he's about to bite into some takoyaki, followed by a humorous close-up of Jihoon’s face as he is about to inhale a fried chicken wing.

He swipes one last time and pauses at the final photo. Daniel takes up most of the frame being the one holding up the phone to take the group selfie. Huddled by his side are Woojin, Jihoon, and the unknown man from before.

 _He’s handsome,_ is what Seongwoo thinks at first glance. The man’s smile is slight but charming, and his masculine features juxtapose with Jihoon’s softer ones, the contrast more apparent given how close their faces are to each other. The man’s arm rests comfortably across Jihoon’s back and his hand grips his shoulder amiably. Jihoon smiles brightly, completely unfazed with the skinship, as if they had known each other for years.

 _Who_ is _that?_

Seongwoo only realizes he's clenching his jaw when Youngmin returns and asks, "Are you alright?"

"Hm?” Seongwoo puts his phone down. “Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Youngmin laughs. "No reason, you just looked like you were spacing out a little."

"Oh. Habit, I guess."

Seongwoo makes a show of opening and closing his jaw like a snake which pulls another bright laugh from his date. Their cards and receipts promptly arrive and they head out.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," Youngmin says as they slowly walk down the block. "It's good to catch up with you again, Seongwoo."

Seongwoo musters a gentle smile. "I had fun too."

Youngmin beams and takes out his phone. "Hey, shall we take a _selca_ to commemorate our reunion?"

Before he can say yes, Seongwoo finds himself in his standard selfie pose—teeth clenched behind a tight-lipped smile, but he’s not scowling—while Youngmin practically _glows._

"Hey, we look cute! Is it okay if I post this?"

Seongwoo shrugs. "Sure, go for it."

"Awesome," and within seconds, the picture is uploaded with an emoji caption and Seongwoo receives the notification that he's been tagged.

"Let's do this again sometime?" Youngmin suggests with the same enthusiastic smile. "I really enjoyed this and…I'd love to see you again. Hopefully this could be the start of something great."

Seongwoo can hear the slight lilt at the end, a bashful proposal more so than an outright desire. It’s too early for anything super serious, but Youngmin still looks at him expectantly.

"Actually, uh, Youngmin..."

He's about to say what he always says.

_Sorry. You're a great guy but I don't see anything happening between us._

_To be honest, I'm not looking for anything serious right now._

_I only came out here because my friend forced me to. I really just wanted to stay home and watch cartoons but you're a decent dude, I guess._

But he forces a smile—he _did_ promise Sungwoon after all.

"Actually, can you send that picture to me too?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I started grad school a month ago so that's been taking up a lot of my time. I had a good portion of this already written for months but being the perfectionist I am, I wasn't ready to have it released until now. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter~
> 
> \- Thank you for the kudos and comments; I love every single one of them. <3 
> 
> \- Follow me on Twitter @eyesofjihoon.


	5. still we get tangled up

Monday nights are calm for the most part. Jihoon can count on his fingers how many customers had come in tonight, even fewer the ones who actually purchased something. There’s fifteen minutes left until his shift ends. The store is empty and he flutters his lips out of sheer boredom. 

He’s going through his Instagram when he sees a photo from last night of Seongwoo and— _wow, Youngmin-hyung_ is _handsome._ He can’t help the corners of his lips from turning upward at how Seongwoo looks more like he’s scowling, or at best, looking as if he was posing for a photoshoot. His face is blank and his gaze is neutral, a stark contrast to Youngmin’s dazzling energy that just radiates off the screen. 

Still, Jihoon admits, they look good together. A quick peek at the comments affirms he’s not the only one who thinks so but he doesn’t wade around in that pool for very long. He pockets his phone and heads to the back to do a last-minute inspection for the night.

He can’t help but wonder how the date went. Was Youngmin really as perfect as Sungwoon made him out to be? Did Seongwoo have a good time? Did they hit it off right away? The photo was tagged at one of the pricier restaurants in Masan, so Jihoon assumes Youngmin is doing quite well in life. 

_That’s good,_ he thinks bitterly. Seongwoo deserves someone like that.

He’s sorting the stray books back in their proper places when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.

**Unknown Number:** _  
__Hi Jihoon! This is Kim Minjae from last night._ _  
__I got your number from Daniel, I hope you don’t mind?_

**\-- Add Contact? --**

Jihoon smiles.

_Hey! Hi, hyung! Hello again!_ _  
__And no, not at all._ _  
__You could have asked me directly, though? ᄏᄏ_

 **Kim Minjae-hyung**  
^^ _You left before I got the chance_ _  
__And I was a bit embarrassed! ᄏᄏ_ _  
__Still, I’m happy I got to meet you yesterday_ _  
__I think it’s really cool that you also have a passion for acting_ _  
  
_

_Aww… Likewise! It was nice to meet you too!_ _  
__Haha yeah I daresay acting is one of my greatest loves._  
  


 _Same here!_ _  
__Apart from my classmates, none of my friends back home really “get it”, you know?_ _  
__Whenever I force them to run lines with me, they just sulk :’)_ _  
  
_

Jihoon nibbles his lip.

 _I totally get that_ _  
__Woojin sometimes goes over lines with me_ _  
__But usually I have to bribe him with food_ _  
__Can't always work under those conditions_ ᄏ

Minjae sends a laughing GIF.

_He seems cool. You guys seem close._

_  
__We’ve known each other since we were seven_ _  
__He’s like the messy, loud, annoying twin brother I never had_

_Aww._

The chimes at the door interrupt his train of thought. Jihoon looks up mid-scowl to greet the last-minute customer. 

His voice falters when he sees Seongwoo at the door. 

“Oh. Hyung.”

Seongwoo flashes a cocky grin. “Miss me?”

Jihoon snorts. “Hardly. I’ve barely even thought about you.”

Seongwoo saunters up to the counter, hunching over with his elbows pressed into the wood. 

“What are you doing here?”

Seongwoo just raises his eyebrows. 

“How was your date, hyung,” Jihoon grits out with an eye roll, more out of politeness than curiosity. He’s curious, but not that curious. “You seem pleased for once.”

“It was good,” Seongwoo replies, his lips flattening slightly. “Youngmin is ridiculously nice. For once I dare say Sungwoon-hyung has taste.”

Jihoon hums and puts his phone on mute before pocketing it away. 

“We had dinner at this fancy steak restaurant. A little pricey, but I definitely recommend it.”

“I know. I saw your post.”

Seongwoo shoots him an ambiguous look.

“And how was your day, Jihoonie?” 

Jihoon grimaces at the affectionate name. 

“Fine. Not too busy. Jisung-hyung won’t be pleased about that.” He looks up to see the elder mindlessly threading his fingers through the brochures on display. 

“But I’m guessing more people come in during Daniel’s shift.”

Had he not been watching, he would have missed how Seongwoo momentarily stilled at the mention of his co-worker. 

Seongwoo’s smile was strained. “You saw him yesterday, right? At the festival.”

“Yeah.” Jihoon makes to switch off the fairy lights behind him. He suddenly feels the irrational flush of anger once again. “I was going to invite you.”

He turns, hoping to see the glint of shame on Seongwoo’s face but instead the elder merely offers a consoling smile.

“Sorry, buddy. But hey, you seemed to have a good time. Probably better that I wasn’t there to be honest. I mean…yeah.” 

Jihoon sighs and nods. He logs out and turns off the computer for the night. 

“Anyway. Are you hungry?”

“Maybe. Are you paying?”

Seongwoo grins. “And if I said no?”

“Then I guess I’m not hungry.” Jihoon shrugs, grabbing his keys and making his way to the door. 

Seongwoo laughs as he locks up and they quickly fall back to their usual banter. 

“What are we eating tonight,” Jihoon mutters, breathing in the cooler evening air. The sun had set not too long ago, leaving the mauve sky tinged with muted orange and pink hues. 

“ _Mulnaengmyeon_ , okay?” Seongwoo offers, leading the way to his car around the corner. 

“Call.”

They throw their things in the back and Jihoon takes his seat in front. The restaurant takes no time to get to and the bustling chatter which greets him amps up the excitement in his stomach. They waste no time ordering — Seongwoo pays for both of them, much to Jihoon’s delight — and quickly they succumb to the restrained ambience of a Monday evening. 

Jihoon is staring blankly into the middle distance when Seongwoo pipes up.

“I’m going to be broke if I keep this up.”

“Hm?”

“Yesterday’s dinner was definitely pricier than what I’d usually go for on the weekends.” 

“Oh.” Jihoon fiddles with the silver chopsticks in front of him. “What does Youngmin-hyung do for work?”

“He teaches Korean in China but he’s a financial analyst on the side. You know, as you do.”

“Wow. Impressive.”

“Right? He said he got the job right after getting his master’s and he plans to go for his doctorate next year once he’s made some more money.”

“Damn.”

Their orders arrive and Jihoon dives in as soon as the waitress leaves. 

“He also said he might be returning permanently to Korea in September since his company is opening a new branch.”

“Where,” Jihoon mutters, loudly slurping the noodles into his mouth. “In Masan?”

“He didn’t say. I’d assume so, considering he’s here,” Seongwoo shrugs. “Who knows?”

He pauses to eat and hums with approval. 

“Sounds like he has his life together,” Jihoon murmurs. “And he wasn’t boring?”

Financial analysis sounded as invigorating as watching paint dry.

Seongwoo grins. “Shocking, right? Though I think it’s because we talked a lot about me instead. I’ll need to do another trial to see for sure.”

Jihoon manages a weak chuckle and stares into his soup. The boiled egg defiantly floats in the middle of the bowl, too big and bulky to be picked up easily with his chopsticks. He pokes at it instead.

“So you’re going to see him again?”

“I think so,” Seongwoo replies, nonchalant. He reaches for a napkin. “But I told him to call me first.”

Jihoon snorts at that. What a very Seongwoo thing to do.

“And as much as I hate to admit it, Sungwoon-hyung was right. He’s a good guy. That’s not saying anything,” he smiles. “But he’s a good guy.” 

“Oh.” With another prod of his chopsticks, Jihoon yelps when he finally bursts through the gleaming flesh of the egg. The soup splashes out of the bowl and Seongwoo laughs. 

“Easy there,” he chides, handing him the used napkin.

The rest of the meal passes quietly. Seongwoo makes idle chatter about his upcoming auditions and suggests Jihoon run some scenes with him and provide critique. Jihoon nods, answering when necessary and doing his best to deliver the appropriate responses while trying to stifle the storm of emotions brewing in his head.

“Still have room for dessert?” Seongwoo asks, pointing his nose in the opposite direction of his car.

Jihoon manages a smile. “Always.”

They walk into one of the many bakeries along the street. (It’s a good thing Jihoon is hardly ever picky with his sweets.) They decide to share one of the tiramisu cakes. It’s too much for one person, but ample for two. 

Seongwoo is filling him in on the backstory of a character he’ll be auditioning for when he pulls out his phone and sees the rest of Minjae’s messages. 

**Kim Minjae-hyung**  
 _It’s good you have someone like that in your life._ _  
_ _I think it’s cuteᄏ_ _  
  
_

Jihoon snorts. Woojin was anything but cute.

He scrolls.

**Kim Minjae-hyung** _  
__Hey um, I hope this isn’t too forward…_ _  
__But I’m here in Masan until the end of the month_ _  
__And I’d love to get to know you better_ _  
__Would you like to get dinner with me sometime this week?_

The surprise on Jihoon’s face piques Seongwoo’s attention. 

“What is it?”

“Uh,” Jihoon mutters as his fingers struggle to generate a response. 

_Yeah, sure! I’m flattered ^^_ _  
__I work at the bookstore (same place as Niel-hyung) until 8:00 on weekdays_ _  
__After that I’m free_ _  
__When’s a good day for you?_

“Sorry about that.” Jihoon sets his phone on vibrate and places it in his lap. “You were saying?”

Seongwoo blinks. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just planning to get dinner with someone.” 

“Oh,” Seongwoo relaxes. “Woojin?”

Jihoon shakes his head and takes another bite of the tiramisu. “A friend of Niel-hyung’s.”

“Oh. Do I know them?”

“Kim Minjae?” 

Seongwoo visibly racks his mind but shakes his head with a frown. Jihoon quickly pulls up his most recent Instagram post and scrolls to the picture Daniel took of the entire group the night before.

“That’s him.” 

“Oh,” Seongwoo recognizes with a clipped nod. “I was wondering who he was. He’s Daniel’s friend?”

“Yeah, I met him yesterday. He’s visiting Masan for a few weeks.” 

“I see. Where’s he originally from?”

“He goes to school in Seoul.”

_Bzzt._

**Kim Minjae-hyung**   
_Does Wednesday work for you? I’ll come pick you up. :)_

Jihoon can’t help but grin at the chivalrous display.

 _  
__Sounds good. Do you need my address?_

**Kim Minjae-hyung**   
_That would be helpful, yes. ᄏᄏ_

“My, you seem smitten already.”

Jihoon looks up to meet Seongwoo’s teasing grin. The elder raises an eyebrow.

“He must be quite the charmer.”

“He’s…” Jihoon pauses. A friend? No, that’s what they’re working towards, right?

“Yeah,” he supplies lamely. “He’s nice.”

Seongwoo scoffs. 

“Just don’t get too attached, Jihoonie.”

He wants to retort that it’s really none of Seongwoo’s business how his relationship with Minjae will evolve, but Seongwoo is already standing up to take their plate and utensils to the clearing station. He quickly hobbles after him and the pair make their way back to the car. Seongwoo actually opens the door for him this time, with nothing more than a wink and a lingering squeeze to Jihoon’s shoulder.

“My place or yours,” he asks, nonchalant as ever while backing out of the restaurant parking space. 

The question catches him off-guard. “Did you have plans?”

“Not particularly,” Seongwoo replies with a slow, playful tone. He gives him the all-too-familiar leer out of the corner of his eye. “But I can definitely fit you into my schedule if you’re, you know, _interested_.”

Jihoon swallows at the inviting lilt. The anticipation travels even lower and he glances down at how Seongwoo’s hand engulfs the gearshift. His long, thin fingers were tight with tension, the veins and knuckles protruding slightly to form a very masculine shape. 

He looks away. He’s always had a thing for hands.

He catches Seongwoo smirking at him in the rearview mirror and he feels his face heat up at having been caught. They reach a stoplight and Seongwoo uses that opportunity to press a firm hand onto his thigh and lean dangerously into his space. Jihoon scrunches into himself as his whispers fan over the sensitive spots on his neck, the scent of his cologne tempting him to kiss Seongwoo right then and there.

“Minhyun isn't home, either,” Seongwoo purrs, his hand traveling higher up his leg. “Which means I won’t have to gag you if you decide to come over later. Unless, of course, you want me to. I’m perfectly fine with that, _Jihoonie._ ”

He lets out an embarrassing moan when Seongwoo suddenly nips his earlobe before pulling back with a victorious glint in his eyes. Left untouched, a vicious thrill runs through his veins and they both know what the younger will choose.

_How fucking unfair._

What happens next is a bit of a blur consisting of a vague-but-sufficient message to Jaehwan saying he’ll be home late and a quick nod for Seongwoo to take the decisive turn towards his side of town. It’s hard to ignore the sense of urgency he feels as they drive up to the apartment. Even harder still when Jihoon trips trying to undo his jeans. 

***

He steps out of the shower with slightly dampened hair and grimaces as he puts on the same clothes he came in with. He really needs to start carrying spare underwear.

He heads back into the bedroom. He can hear Seongwoo talking to someone on the phone.

_“Sounds good. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. No, that’s perfectly fine. Alright. Bye.”_

“Who was that?” Jihoon pads toward the bed and slumps across Seongwoo’s outstretched legs. The elder is clad in a loose white t-shirt but Jihoon knows he’s still naked under the blanket. 

“Youngmin.” 

Jihoon stills.

“What did he want?”

“He, um, wants to go to Yeosu.” 

“Yeosu?”

“Yeah.”

“For…?”

“A date.”

“Oh,” Jihoon squirms. “That’s...that’s interesting.”

Yeosu was well known for being a couple’s paradise. Given this was only the second date, Jihoon thought Youngmin was maybe doing the most. Definitely not boring.

“Yeah. Not sure how I feel about it, to be honest.”

Jihoon snorts. That, too, was a very typical Ong Seongwoo reaction.

“When are you going?”

“Saturday,” Seongwoo mutters, wiggling his legs from under Jihoon’s weight. 

“Damn it, that means I’ll have to pack,” he grumbles. “Anyway, is it alright if I shower first before I take you home?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jihoon replies, shifting to let Seongwoo gather some clean clothes before scurrying to the bathroom. He hears the door click and soon the rush of water surges through the pipes behind the walls. 

_He’s never going to be yours,_ he reminds himself as he welcomes the wrenching disappointment like an old friend. _Not in the way you want. Soon this will pass, and he’ll have no more need for you._

He lets out a sigh and buries his face into the mattress which smells of sex and Seongwoo’s signature cologne. He inhales, letting the familiar pain in his chest wash over him once more.

 _This is temporary_ , he reminds himself. _He’s never going to…_

He startles when he hears Seongwoo croon a gentle and oblivious melody. He rolls onto his back and stares hard enough for the ceiling fan to blur. His lower parts twinge but he embraces the pain. 

_You’re a mess, Park Jihoon. A stupid, fucking mess._

He considers his acting has improved given how Seongwoo carries on like always when he returns, beautiful and blithely unaware of the way Jihoon’s heart breaks every time he flashes that irresistible smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Can you believe it took a whole-ass pandemic for me to get back on this? I hope you all are safe and well.


End file.
